Giulia, Silvia and the daughter’s double surname: “We need a law, we don’t want to adopt our children”

Giulia and Silvia fought for a long time to be able to give the after surname to their daughter, born shortly after their civil union. “We are happy on the one hand, but on the other it is a bit of a defeat,” the 39-year-old couple from Parma told The lawyer: “Important words in the sentence”.

“These three years have been very long and difficult. Because we started being parents and because, in addition to the canonical effort of managing a new born, there have been other notable efforts that we have carried out in parallel with everything normal parents do. Because we are normal parents“. Giulia Panizza, 39 years old teacher of Parma, in 2018 she joined civilly with her partner Silvia Gregorio, who does the same job as her and is the same age.

The labors to which it refers are those of one legal battle lasted almost four years and which ended at the end of last June with a sentence of Juvenile Court of Bologna and a result that leaves the two women satisfied, but only halfway through. The daughter born shortly after their civil union now finally has the double surname.

To obtain this recognition they had to go through the stepchild adoption which, as they tell for the first time a, it’s not quite what they wanted.

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Giulia and Silvia confirm this alongside the lawyer Valentina Migliardi, who together with her colleague Andrea Massimo Molè, has followed the odyssey of the couple and their child, who is now almost four years old and rightly knows nothing. of this story. “One day I’ll tell you everything what we did for this recognition – explains Silvia. I don’t know how, because I usually improvise. But the message that we always try to pass on is of the diversity of people, of the acceptance of the different. She is not a particular caseit’s just different like all other people ”.

The story of the couple and their daughter, born with heterologous procreation from donorbegins a few years ago, when the two teachers from Parma, together for about ten years, get together civilly, just while Giulia is waiting.

As soon as the child was born, the then mayor of the ducal city, Federico Pizzarotti, registered her with the double surname. But an appeal starts from the Prosecutor’s Office which after two years involves the cancellation of Silvia’s surname, leaving the child only that of her biological mother.

“A term that I do not like at all” comments the 39-year-old, who adds: “Without the help of our lawyers we would not have known how to move, we are ordinary citizens who are not used to going to court. Their support was very valuable ”.

After the cancellation, the couple turned to the Juvenile Court of Bologna and in the end the judges put things right. “We are happy on the one hand because we managed to acquire rights that we legally did not have. But on the other hand it’s a bit of a defeat, because as parents we had to adopt our daughter. Unfortunately, this is the only way to go now ”.

“Laws are lacking, not only for us but for all our children, who are starting to be little ones, explains Giulia. This void needs to be fixed a little, because there have been so many stepchilds, but we don’t want to adopt our children“.


“With us the social workers came to see how we were raising our daughter – continues Giulia – is not something that parents usually have to suffer. We also had to go on a psychological journey with them. They are all things that no heterosexual parent is asked: there is therefore still a lot to do. Now maybe we can relax a bit – he continues – but basically what we got is not exactly what we wanted. If anything had happened to me, my daughter would not have gone to her mother at the time, because Silvia did not exist“.

“On her birth certificate, she had a parent, then two, then one more and now two again” sums up Silvia herself, while the lawyer Migliardi underlines the importance of the words used by the court: “I am important words and will make jurisprudence. We talk about the family as an emotional relationship that has a project of common life – the lawyer still underlines, with the sentence in her hands. So we talk about common dreams about the future there is a definition of family which is certainly newbecause lacking a norm, it means that magistrates have taken the responsibility of representing a concept that we need and that it is transformed into a norm ”.

The Juvenile Court of Bologna also writes that the adoption by the partner of the biological mother responds “fully to the best interests of the child, allowing her to enjoy the affective, educational and emotional continuity of a solid and stable family, in which it was able to build its own identity “.

It also reads: “The surname is an essential and indispensable part of the personality. The emotional relationship between two people of the same sex who recognize themselves as parts of the same life project constitutes to all intents and purposes a family, a place where the growth of a minor is possible, without the mere homoaffectivity factor being a formal obstacle“.

“I think the more we talk about it the better – concludes Silvia – to make the voice of the rights we do not have heard, in all fields. We obviously hope that one day things will change: we make ourselves spokespersons for our history because we think we need to be heard ”.

Giulia, Silvia and the daughter’s double surname: “We need a law, we don’t want to adopt our children”