Family: in couples with different languages, 7 out of 10 ask for help

(ANSA) – ROME, NOVEMBER 23 – If the family is not well, society is not well. But the family is fine if the couple is fine. A text on socio-educational counseling for couples talks about it, which is the result of a research-experiment that Raffaello Rossi, couple and family counselor, developed over the course of fifteen years and which involved 500 couples. Rossi, national president of AICCeF (Italian Association of Marital and Family Counselors) for two terms, is director of one of the schools for family counselors, CECOFeS of Padua. “Couples burst or crackling couples”, by CECOFeS, Edizioni Toscana Oggi, is the book in question.

“Among the reasons – says the author – which made me consider it useful to share the approach adopted is the observation of the fragility of many paths with couples, whose success and/or durability over time were a critical element “. Thanks to these courses, as many as 71% (equal to 355 couples) achieved the objectives they had set at the beginning of the course, with an improvement in the couple’s relationship judged.

Among the major problems encountered in consulting work is the growth of the perception of the lack or loss of “we”. In the first place remain the communication problems.

72% of couples ask for help to clarify and understand each other.

We often speak different languages, we misunderstand each other or hardly communicate anymore, even taking refuge in obstinate and opposing silences. In second place is the perception of the lack or loss of “we”. When the couple is limited to an “I” and a “you” tensions or oppositions arise, walls are raised and a sense of exclusion, rejection or abandonment is experienced. “In families especially after the lockdown – underlines Rossi – there is a strong educational need, both in the life of a couple and in the relationship with the children. Parents’ questions often remain unanswered.

The figure of the family counselor is precisely that of a socio-educational professional who can accompany the entire cycle of family life”. But how to determine if the person or the couple needs socio-educational help, the one offered by the counselor, or should contact the psychologist or psychotherapist for clinical support? “The family counselor – replies Rossi – has some indicators available” to assess “whether the person has an identity with stable boundaries and can tackle even important problems by questioning himself, or if the his ‘I’ shows wounds, reveals itself as fragile and therefore there is the need, for example, to delve into the unconscious, a task for which the intervention of the psychoanalyst or psychotherapist is necessary”. (ANSA).