by Arianna Prevedello
I start from me. I became a mother in 2010. I deal with cinema and education. When I was able, I always took my daughter, from the cradle, with me on professional trips to conferences, training camps, courses update, film festivals. I remember frantic bike rides in heels and elegant clothes on the Venice Lido in September for the Film Festival or in Riccione where the Cinema Days are held in July to be able to return to the hotel for a breastfeeding session between one film and another or even just for a lunch together or a cuddle or a bedtime start. This is because the question, for a longer time than the mandates of many circles, is always “are you there for bedtime?”. I remember for the same appointments, years later, the same scenes repeating themselves for a Roman colleague of mine who became a mother twice. Of course, it is not always possible: the contexts are not always so facilitating; costs don’t always allow it; not all mothers can handle this mixed gym away. Now I’m leaving alone because the children are growing up and we certainly don’t tie them to us, because school can’t be skipped and because wonderfully it’s our children who don’t want to skip it. And so I use the breaks in a conference or festival to change clothes or wash my hair, take a walk or have an aperitif with colleagues. These are periods of life and the solutions of families change with an Oscar-worthy flexibility to say the least.
Yes, I’m telling this because I’ve never thought of judging myself now that I live away from home less breathlessly or in the past when it looked like the Olympics.
Families keep together like they can, with the best possible that is never settled forever. It is not just a chapter on the theme “women, work and motherhood”. It is, of course, but it is above all a matter of family evaluating what to do season by season, week by week, day by day. We rail against the daughter of the Prime Minister in Bali for ideological reasons, forgetting – seriously – that every fight has its most appropriate rooms and its rules. Outside of the latter, is it just sterile controversy? Social gasoline? Or do we only rail to safeguard our right to always and in any case put our mouth on everything without restraint? Moreover, no less serious… With controversy, arrogance, judgment we only increase the atmospheric pollution of our country. If the trip to Bali with her baby had been made by a prime minister from northern Europe we would never have cried foul. And instead Italy did it. Let’s be proud of it, can we? And if you really, legitimately, you have different ideas on other topics from our Premier, all that remains is to be ready in the right places but let’s leave other people’s children alone. Matteo Lancini, psychologist and psychotherapist, in his book “What our kids need” proposes as a strategy for our complex time to try to love other people’s children more. As an expert in cinema, I propose that you also see the refined “The Children of Others” released on the big screen just a few weeks ago. If we had more love for other people’s children, we would have avoided this embarrassing controversy. More often, unfortunately, we only love our pens (keyboards that are always too fast and sharp).